Today is October seventh and the last day of my twenties! I am sitting in Swim Café before work trying to conjure up memories of the end of my teens and turning twenty. I don’t remember a whole lot except that I was probably at work. I was an color assistant for a few months before Rob, the salon director at Van Michael Salon in Atlanta needed another cutting assistant and took me on. I had just begun my career in the hair industry eager to soak up everything I possibly could learn. I was still in a relationship with my high school sweetheart and I didn’t give a damn about getting color on my skin.
Today I reside in Chicago, and am in a lovely relationship that is better suited for me. My fingers are torn to bits from dermatitis and never would I ever dream of touching color with my bare hands. To top it all off I’m on the verge of switching careers. Never did I ever see any of this coming. My twenty year old self was certain that by thirty I would be married, living in a house I owned with my husband. My finances would be immaculate, the skin on my hands would be intact and I’d do hair forever and ever and ever.
I like today’s story more than I like Miss Twenty’s story. It’s way more colorful. I giggle when I look back and think of all the fun I had blowing paychecks, flying from state to state having adventure after adventure before jumping the pond and continuing the exploration of foreign lands. I proudly bought my beloved Celica at 21, lived by myself for five glorious years and left everything that was comfortable for some vast unknown life that waited for me in the Windy City.
The ups didn’t come without downs. I got my ass beat by my high maintenance Buckhead clientele early in my career. I swallowed my feelings with staggering amounts of sugar, caffeine and alcohol. I raced around like a maniac trying to please this person and that person while trying to figure out who the hell I was and whose rules I was following. When Rob died everything came to a screeching halt. Nothing else in the world mattered but taking care of the tremendous sadness that threatened to swallow me whole if I didn’t. As I slowly navigated through the darkness that is grief I began to wake up and discover a voice that has been with me all along. It was something I didn’t know I missed. When I felt ready I left Atlanta and started over.
Chicago welcomed me with it’s blustery winds, snow and…love. For the first time in my life I feel accepted. I feel like I fit somewhere. Through work I acquired the confidence I craved to be a better, happier, more successful stylist. My sense of direction has gotten way better from navigating the public transportation system, and I’ve finally found a healthy, supportive relationship with a person that I love so deeply that it almost hurts.
I keep wanting to capture every single thought and emotion today. Maybe I won’t be able to capture everything. Maybe that’s just how it is. Maybe I’ll never be able to express some things. Hmm.. I could just be here though, on the last day of my twenty ninth year, (a favorite this decade;)) with this delicious coffee, on this perfect fall day with all it’s bright sunshine, cloudless blue sky and yellow-leaved trees experiencing the wonderful life I’ve created for myself.
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