While walking I admire the glittering white substance piled on the sidewalks from last week’s blizzard. The fresh snowflakes are resting peacefully on these mounds, showing off they’re sparkly little selves in the otherwise dark evening. I have come to appreciate snow more than usual these past couple of weeks. Maybe it’s because the blizzard made us all slow down, or maybe Jeff’s love for it is rubbing off on me. Whatever it is, it’s been simply delightful these past few days.
I turn on to my street, turning over the evening in my mind. I’m coming home from my artist class. It was wonderfully intense and emotional for me as it usually is, but with different emotions. I wasn’t fidgety but calm, happy, peaceful and found myself wanting to cry at time for reasons unbeknownst to me. I walk past the Montessori, under the trees, feeling the snow crunch beneath my boots. I hear it. Really hear the noise. My eyes take in the gates surrounding the apartments, the obstacle course of snow piles residing on the sidewalks, and the park across from my apartment. Home again, but my days here are officially numbered.
A little more than a week ago my current roommate and I needed to find a third. We interviewed a great girl and all decided that she would move in March first. Done and done. Four days later I sadly got notice from my current roommate saying that this girl needed to back out. A day or so after that, still feeling really sad that this great person wasn’t going to be around, I asked him for her number. Two text messages later and it was decided that I would move out and find a place with her. After a brief craigslist search, I had written down some names and numbers vowing to make calls on Monday.
So it’s Monday and what fun is calling people? For some reason after writing at Lovely, I decided to check craigslist one more time. An ad jumped out at me for some reason. There were no pictures attached, just some really great information in a neighborhood I wanted to look around in. I emailed the guy, and left Lovely to see my therapist Beth.
An hour later I got a call from this landlord. He had time available at 4:30 which worked for me. I confirmed I would be there, texted my new roommie and was astonished that she could also meet up with us. (both of us have crazy schedules.) The landlord showed us and another couple the place. The four of us were in love. This place had just been rehabbed and it was apparent this man took great pride in his work. Commuting to work just might be an even bigger pain in my ass than it already is, but to explore a different neighborhood, and live, truly live, in a cozy space with a great person who already more than supports my desire to create things, has her own things to create, who loves to cook and is all around a nice, considerate and fabulous? Please, sign me up.
When we all walked out of the building, the landlord said he’d be around should anyone want to talk with him. Dana and I squealed that we wanted it while standing outside. Figuring the couple wanted it, we knocked on the door again, telling the landlord when he answered, that we were ready to sign a lease. It just so happened that I grabbed a little cash before heading out of my place so we were able to “hold” the place.
The three of us walked to a coffee shop, went over the terms and signed on the dotted line. Once we were done, more squealing ensued. We couldn’t believe how perfect the whole process was. It was the first place we looked at and couldn’t have been easier.
I share this because in class tonight we talked about letting go the “how” and focus on the “what”. This has been a huge challenge for me. I like to “fix” everything, find a solution for everything and in scrambling around like that, I get caught up and stressed out and ultimately perpetuate the very thing I’m trying to “fix”. For the past few months, I’ve made collages surrounding beautiful spaces, objects and furniture, wanting something comfortable to come home to. I haven’t felt comfortable or even welcome in my own home for well over a year now. In trying to remedy that I imagined what I wanted. One thing led to another and Dana and I met. I then got nervous about finding a place, not sure of how I was going to get there then stopped worrying about that doing my best to trust that God had something amazing in store. I trusted that I would get what I was looking for even though I couldn’t see how. Sure enough, I followed my gut in contacting Dana, and this landlord and one by one the details fell into place and I feel happier than I have in a long time. It’s pretty much paradise…
Next step...moving.
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